10 Years

"Where you go, I will follow." Ruth 1:16

I'm dedicating this blog post to my husband, Brandon. Today makes 10 years since we said our vows. 10 years since we started this thing called marriage.

I'm not going to lie. It has been really hard for me to start this post. Looking through all of our wedding pictures has stirred up so many different emotions. Memories of loved ones who have since left this world. A broken relationship between my parents. The emotional roller coaster of packing up my entire life, leaving my entire family and everything I've ever known to move to Montana. It was not an easy season of life, that's for sure. But one thing is for sure, Brandon, you are worth it.



6-4-04.

The day we began our life together.



It seems utterly impossible that we have been married for ten years?! And yet, ten years and three gorgeous children later, here we are. We have often joked that the length of our marriage has felt like five minutes...under water. Although I cringe every time I hear it, there really is some truth to it.

Hear me out... We all have those friends that claim they "never fight" with their spouse. I generally will just respond with a "good for you" and a very sarcastic smile. I will not go into how I really feel about this now. But, for whatever reason, I have really been thinking about this a lot this past week.

We have definitely had our share of fights, arguments, disagreements, whatever you want to call them. And truthfully, there have been times when we have both questioned if we had made the right decision. While a part of me wishes that I could wipe all of those memories away, the other part of me realizes we wouldn't be where we are without working through the struggles. It's easy to walk away from something that's challenging. But working through the issues, has a far greater return. We have both grown, matured and changed in so many ways over the last decade. And for that, I am truly grateful.

We are living a life without regrets.



Brandon, I have been absolutely honored and privileged to be your wife for the last 10 years. There is no one else I would rather share my life with. No one else I would rather parent our children with. There is nothing that I would change. Nothing that I would redo. I love everything about our life. Everything we have battled through, everything we have triumphed, everything we have accomplished together. Thank you for bringing me a newfound perspective on life. Thank you for teaching me all that you have. Thank you for showing me I am worth loving and how to love in return.

"...you have given me a reason to smile, a reason to hope, a reason to love."  An excerpt from a letter I wrote to you on our wedding day.

And, it is just as true today, as it was 10 years ago.

I love you more than ever before, Brandon.

Happy Anniversary.

Journey to a New Me

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." Is that how the saying goes? Corny? Yes. Overused? Absolutely. Applicable? Definitely.

Recently, I stopped nursing Harper. After nearly seven years of either being pregnant or nursing, my body is just mine again (Well, mine and my husband's. But this isn't that kind of blog...). And I have to say, I am ready! I am ready to get my body back into shape. Ready to shave off the extra weight. Ready to feel good when I look at myself in the mirror. Ready to enjoy trying on new clothes. I am ready to take my body back!

Nothing about losing weight and getting fit is easy. It takes hard work, determination, will, focus, self discipline. But it all starts with one simple word...decide. I have to decide whether or not this is what I want. Once I have made that decision, the rest falls into place. And I have finally made that decision. I am going to take care of myself now. I'm not doing this for my husband (though he does benefit from it). I'm not even doing this because I feel self-conscious and worry about what people think of me (true as that may be). But I am doing this for me. Just me. Courtney. Because I deserve this. I deserve to feel better. I deserve to feel proud of how I look. I deserve to be a trophy wife.

Over the last several years, Brandon and I have worked diligently to become debt free. We have been extremely disciplined with our budget because we desperately wanted change. Not just change for us and our future. But change that would effect our children's futures as well. And that is exactly how I feel about making these changes towards a healthier lifestyle. I am not just doing this for my own benefit. But am doing this to set a good example for my children. To show them the importance of living a healthy, active life. To teach them how to take care of the bodies God gave us.

Though I am only 11 days into this journey to a new me (I know, I know, I've barely just begun), I have already crossed a huge (no pun intended) milestone. I am finally out of the 150s! Those numbers are not something I have been proud of. In fact, I have been disappointed in myself every time I've stood on the scale for the past 15 months. Until now! Those numbers will no longer haunt me. This is a breakthrough moment for me. Because, I will NEVER see those numbers on the scale again. And I couldn't be happier!

Each day I am another step closer to achieving my goal. A healthier, happier me. I will take this journey one step, one day at a time.